Thursday, 20 October 2011

Sorry Mummy!

Just recently, the toddler has become a little - how to put it...challenging at times. He's VERY two year old - most of the time he's really very good, but he's taken a liking to answering back, selective hearing and being stroppy at times! 

He's GREAT at saying sorry and giving a hug and a kiss - he thinks that's the way to get away from being in trouble - but I'm not entirely sure the naughty corner works.
I think I do it the way Super Nanny explains - I take him to the corner, crouch to his eye level and say "I'm putting you here because you kicked the baby in the head/punched me/emptied washing powder all over the kitchen/hit the hamster cage with your wooden duck/ran away in Asda - you'll sit here for two minutes." and I walk away...sometimes he cries. Sometimes he gets up and walks off (I take him back) sometimes he climbs inside the cupboard in the hall (I put him back) sometimes he moves and starts emptying the bookcase in the hall (I put him back then make him tidy it) and when he's done his two minutes properly I go back, crouch to his height again and say "I put you here because you pulled my ears/headbutted Daddy/smeared poo on the sofa/coloured in my work folder with wax crayon/put baby's stuffed hippo in the toilet - what do you need to say?" 

"I sorry Mummy!" 

"What are you sorry for?" 

"I sorry I was naughty and put all the pasta in the washing machine/ate the polestyrine/licked the telly/pulled the buttons off your computer/threw your phone down the stairs outside/dropped a toy train out of the window onto a man's head"

Then we have a kiss, a big cuddle and we're "all best friends again!" and then I make sure we go and do something nice together in case the naughty was because I'd been busy and he felt neglected. 

The trouble is, however much I do that with him - he still wilfully and deliberately does things he KNOWS are naughty - and then laughs when I tell him off. He refuses to look me in the face a lot of the time when I'm trying to tell him off and explain why what he did was naughty (or dangerous, or scary) and looks right past me instead; if he's running away and I shout 'STOP' he looks over his shoulder at me, says "haha, I running away!" and keeps going. 

I get that two year olds are naughty - but when they continue with the same behaviours when you try to handle it properly it clearly isn't working; is this a case of keeping at it until he grows out of it, or trying a new punishment? 

If he's naughty on the way somewhere or when we're out we don't go or we come home - he knows that's the consequence if he's naughty. If he's expecting a treat and he's naughty he doesn't get the treat.

If he's good he gets stickers - if he's good consistently he gets a bigger treat (pocket money at the end of the week - a pound - and his own choice of toy in the 99p shop, which he gets to give to the lady and pay for himself like a big grown up boy) and he's good a lot - but his naughty periods are coming more regularly and I want a better way to handle it than not giving him a treat because I want his good behaviour to be rewarded too - am I being too soft? 

How can I be cross at this ace little boy anyway though? Look at his face! 

How do you deal with your toddler's tantrums and misbehaviour? (Hi Mummy - hi Poppa - I know I was worse and this is my just desserts - how did you not give me away to a passing gypsy tribe?!) 

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Happy Birthday!

Today my wonderful husband turned 30 - actual furrealz 30 - like a grown up! Amazing! It actually DOES happen to everyone! 

When I met my husband I knew straight away that he was special - coming up for 4 years later I still think it. He's incredible - and gorgeous - and funny, clever, nice (that's underrated and underappreciated by a lot of people - but nice is really important) he's great fun, a wonderful Daddy, a thoughtful and loving husband, a great person all around - and I'm lucky enough that he chose me to marry (poor bugger).

Today he turned 30 and we pondered all kinds of rock and roll, OTT, massive and magnificent things to mark the occasion - then we remembered that we're skint, so we hopped in the car with a picnic (thank you sunny autumn days!) and wove our way around Dorset for a couple of hours. We stopped in Puddletown Forest and had our lunch - then went for a romp around the forest (not that kind of romp, we aren't THAT kind of family - minds back out of the gutters? Good, carry on) with the kids and had an absolute ball.

We saw bracken - actual bracken - which I'd forgotten was a real thing - we saw the biggest holly bush ever, with lots of berries on, meaning I got all excited about Christmas on the horizon, we ran through the trees pretending to be monkeys, we hid in a den, we clambered on things, played with pine cones, ran around madly, made a lot of noise, laughed our heads off and got dirty boots - then all piled back into the car and pootled around some more looking at gorgeous little villages and fantasising about buying a farm (!) - then Daddyman and Jellybean played in an amazing playground whilst I guarded the sleeping baby in the car. The playground is in a small village - the name of which I forget (helpful, I know) in Dorset and is by far the best I've ever seen; there's a football net and a basketball hoop - and there's a basketball there, that hasn't been stolen.
There's lots of rope webs and suchlike to climb, and lots of beautifully made, well maintained wooden adventure areas for climbing - with a big house on stilts and slides, swings, big basket swings, all sorts - none of which has been vandalised. In the centre there's an apple tree, with apples on that you can pick and eat (which are DELICIOUS) that hasn't been hacked to pieces. It's a beautiful place and though I forgot the name of the village I remember how to drive there - and will keep doing so until I can convince my wonderful husband to move there! 

When we came home the boys quickly fell asleep (after some two dozen story books on a freshly vacuumed floor, after A Weetabix Incident) and the birthday boy and I had a curry and watched a film - all in all a magnificent day! 

Happy birthday - I love you more than you will ever know x