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Monday, 24 October 2011

Grown up time

This weekend my husband and I spent a night and two glorious days at a spa - Ragdale Hall; I'll be posting up a proper review too - but it's given me a lot to say!

Since we had our eldest son, now two and a half, we've never spent a night alone - he (nor his brother) has never spent a night away from us before. We've never been anywhere just as a couple, but always as a family. At home or out and about it's very unusual to see us - or to see me - without the children, or one of them at least. Now and then I leave them with my husband and pop out; sometimes he does the same. I can count on one hand the number of times we've left them with someone to go for a meal or date in that time.
This weekend was our first night away...I spent ten minutes at "bed time" crying because I missed my babies and felt bad not to be there to kiss them goodnight. The rest of the weekend I spent with my husband, having a really wonderful time, talking, laughing, enjoying his company - he really is excellent company. We gave each other our full attention - that part of your brain that is always alert, listening and watching for the children even in the dead of night actually switched off. We spoke about things not related to what we'd done/needed to do at home, at work or with the children - instead we spoke about our hopes and plans for the future, articles in the news, the books we were reading (actual reading too!) we told jokes, we discussed grand plans for world domination and holidays we'd like to go on. We also held hands, read and sat in silence - actual silence.

I missed the boys enormously - but I did something really important; after a hard few months, I reconnected with the man I love, with my best friend: I fell head over heels again with my husband.

It's so easy, as a family, to focus so much energy and thought on "the family" and the children, home, work balance that you tend to put "marriage" and "self" at the bottom of the pile and you just function around one another smoothly without really seeing one another. Having this weekend was a truly special gift - a chance to be with my husband alone is something to be cherished.

I hope that we can spend more time alone together - not for a whole weekend even, just an evening here and there when we dress up for one another and go out for a meal, for a date.