Saturday, 12 November 2011

He's so funny!

My two year old is pretty much the funniest person I've ever met.

He's been taught, by his three year old uncle, how to tell jokes. Neither of them fully understand the concept - but generally the results are hilarious anyway!

The first joke was this:

What do cows like to listen to?

That got such a great result that he's started making up his own. Here are some of the highlights.

Why did the car drive to the top of the hill?
Because he went down a down a down a down a down! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Why did I eat the cake?
Because I like sausages AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Why does the elephant swing through the trees?
Because a monkey can't fly!

Why do the cars go green and red?
Because they can't go down and down!

He is the king of telling jokes. Truth.

The funniest thing he said today, though, was "Stop tickling me Mummy, my boobs are too sore!"

Friday, 11 November 2011

Reasons I love my car.

1. When I get into it I can sit in a seat without having to move things or stand on lots of crap - like I do in my husband's car.

2. I get to decide what to listen to. (Well, sort of - it's usually radio 1 because I can't get it to tune into anything else, and all my CDs are too scratched to play without skipping - but in THEORY I get to decide!) 

3. It originally came from a dealership in Kendal, Cumbria. This might mean nothing to most people - but I was born in Kendal, Cumbria. The car somehow found its way to Dorset - and so did I. Destiny.

4. It has a choke. I love this feature - because it makes me feel all retro and studenty.

5. It has wind down windows with handles like when I was little. This also makes me feel all retro and youthful. 

6. The chairs are REALLY comfy. Not, like, all lumbar support and adjustable positioning comfy - just made of foam, really old and soft seats comfy. The kind I like. 

7. I can feel like I'm really whizzing along whilst never breaking a speed limit. The car only has 4 gears and even with my foot pushed down hard it has only made it to 70 was a REALLY big hill I was going down. 

8. I like being overtaken. It makes me feel twee. Which is handy, because it happens a lot. For the record, I don't drive at 50 on the duel carriage way because I think that's the limit - it's just my car's limit. 

9. It does 0-60 in rare and special circumstances rather than a timescale measured in seconds. 

10. It's mine.

11. It has polyfiller on the outside.

12. The petrol cap has been replaced with a really rubbish rubber one. It's bright red. 

13. You have to wipe the insides of the windows when it's cold outside. Remember that?!?

Why do you love your car? What kind of car do you have? What was your best car ever and why? 

Thursday, 10 November 2011


He's finally asleep...shh! I'm going to join him!

Wednesday, 9 November 2011


Today I was awake until almost 2am, unable to sleep because my mind wouldn't be quiet.

Today I was awake before 5.30 because the baby woke and wouldn't settle.

Today I was late to work because I forgot it was market day and the traffic was hell - not helped by a pretty nasty gas leak that's meant a dug up road on my commute. 

Today I burned my mouth on my reheated leftover lunch.

Today I ate too much cake and drank too much coffee and felt sick, with a headache and the shakes.

Today I was looking forward to getting home to an empty flat and catching up on some work before my hubby and children got home from a visit to Grandad Ace.

Today I got home at 6pm after another crap drive to realise I had no keys to get in.

Today I spent two hours hanging around in asda, passing the time before my husband got home to let me in.

Today I tried on lots of clothes that made me look like a burst sausage, and realised that the me in the mirror is never going to look like the me in my mind again.

Today I have had enough.

Tomorrow is another day. Bring it on.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

What did you want to be?

When I was little I had big plans. I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to be when I grew up. Always very set in my ways I made a decision and that was that. Unfortunately there's always some detail that comes along and de-rails any plans you might have for your future; this time the flaw was that you can't change species.

I planned, as a three year old, to grow up to be a white rabbit with a pink nose.

I don't know why - I'm not massively keen on rabbits; maybe my antipathy towards them stems from some almost forgotten, crippling disappointment in my formative years? 

I look at this picture and there's still a tiny part of me that thinks "that's a real shame, that is; it'd be nice to be a bunny, snuffling around with no real problems" - then I remember that I've got no real problems anyway, and rabbits can't drink gin. 

When I had recovered from the trauma of learning I had to stay a girl - a human girl - I decided I was going to be the Queen when I grew up. My Grandmother explained to me that it would mean I'd have to get married, to a boy. Not just any boy but Prince William - who was posh. With a heavy sigh I apparently said "well, if I HAVE to, but I won't cook his dinner!"

My husband can vouch that this view of marriage is one I still hold, but I think had I not met my husband I'd have done ok marrying Prince William. Admittedly he's posh, and I'm far less tasty in a white frock than Princess Kate - but we could have muddled through, I'm sure! 

I asked my Jellybean today what he wants to be when he grows up. I said he could be anything he wanted; he told me he wants to be big. I hope that, in time, he develops more ambition! 

What did you want to be when you grew up? 

Image sources;

Monday, 7 November 2011

Food spiced with memories - blog hop!

Monika over on Mum on the Brink has written one of my favourite posts ever this week - she posted two recipes that reminded her of happy, childhood times and family times and love and comfort. 

For me food is a bit of a friend and a foe. I am a real emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm alone, I eat when I'm with family and friends. Food and comfort. Food and celebration. Food is an important part of all occasions. It isn't merely fuel, it's emotion. 

I want to post here about foods that remind me of my parents, and times spent with them. 

My Dad and his wife came back from a holiday in France with a raclette - I've long been a big fan of fondue and this is like a big manly grown up version of that. 

Some might think it's naff - the guests on Come Dine With Me the other day certainly thought so when faced with one - but this is exactly the kind of thing that I love. I love food as a family. I love food that you can be really involved with and tactile with. I love food when you sit around together talking, sharing, laughing, sharing stories and passing things around in circles so that you can all taste and experience everything. 

I love melty cheese and little scraps of fried meat. I love crispy, crunchy, roasted veg and all the goodness that goes with that. I love tearing off a chunk of the loaf in the centre of the table and dipping it in the melted cheese (even if that cheese might have been my Dad's) and just the thought of a raclette makes me happy.

I think I'm going to have to buy one - I'm all excited at the idea now and missing my Poppa and his lady. 

The other happy family time food I'm thinking of is shared with my Mum, The Boosh. 
At Easter she came to stay, and in the summer we went to stay with her. Both times we had similar foods - only she did it better. We had fresh Greek salad, with tiger bread and dipping oil and balsamic vinegar - and chilli oil for dipping.

At Mum's we didn't have tiger bread though - we had freshly baked bread. She whipped up some fresh herby bread, cooked still slightly doughy, that we could tear and share. Onto that she blobbed sliced chorizo, sun dried tomatoes and cheese. Nom. We shredded it and dipped it and nommed it up, and followed it up with G&T and chocolate. 

Image from

For me food doesn't have to be fancy or elaborate - it just has to be shared with people I love, whose company I enjoy. That is what makes a happy meal. 

Sunday, 6 November 2011

Sunday trips

This weekend was one of our going-to-be-regular trips to the poultry auction close by. It was actually just our second trip there - but this time we had more idea what was going on and where we needed to be to see the things we wanted to see.

Outside were the chickens, ducks, geese, so on and so forth, and various large - um - things. Random things. Like strimmers, chicken runs, hutches, ride on toys, boxes filled with empty bleach bottles (no, I didn't understand either) and huge Tonka toys.

Of course, the instant we arrived, Jellybean spotted the Tonka toys and we set a limit, collected a number and decided we'd actually bid - how exciting!

We had a look inside and saw that there was a huge selection of pet birds (a couple of parrots, masses of budgies and finches and such, doves, songbirds, love birds) as well as chicks, young unsexed poultry of all varieties and fertile eggs. There was also another huge collection of oddities, many, many guinney pigs and a few mice, rats, ferrets and hamsters.

There were some beautiful quail and hubby wanted to know how much they would go for (as we've recently hatched some of our own and he's planning to hatch more and wanted to check out the rate there) but the Tonka toys were being auctioned outside at the same time - so he left me to gather the data and with my own number in case nobody else wanted them (in which case I'd be allowed to rescue them).


He came back with a VERY happy Jellybean and two most excellent giant Tonka find me with a sleeping Midget Gem, winning the bidding on a pair of Chinese hamsters and a cage. Whoops!

Well, in my defence, nobody else wanted them - and they're cute!

Also, they are boys; you can tell, because male Chinese hamsters have, um, enormous balls. Like massive, seriously massive.

The latest additions to the family are called Neville and Giles. They are amazing. Lucky for me my husband is smitten too!