A crafty project

I constantly distress my poor husband by bringing home hideous tat from charity shops or that I've 'rescued' from the dump. I always promise that I'll do something with it and create beauty. I always intend to - but it very rarely comes off!

This time, in honour of the new house, I was determined to make something from the hideous tat I brought home!

I bought these curtains, you see. They were £4.99 in a charity shop.

Brown, floral - ugly. Himself hated them immediately - and I swore that I had a plan, he just had to have faith!

Here's how it works.

Step one. Buy some very ugly curtains from a charity shop at a price you can't ignore.

Step two. Tell husband who says I was ripped off for my hideous curtains that he's wrong.

Step three. Dig out the fabric dye you bought for a project about a year ago and can't remember the original plan for and read the instructions. By read I obviously mean scan quickly.

Step four. Mix the dye in a Pyrex jug and then soak curtains in the sink, pouring the dye in and mixing really well with your rubber gloves on.

Step five. Hope your husband wasn't too fond of the Pyrex jug and isn't opposed to the new turquoise shade of the glass.

Step six. Squish the dye into the curtains. When your husband says "they look s**t" kick him.

Step seven. Go for a bath whilst the dye takes, planning to rinse them after your soak.

Step eight. Forget, and go to bed.

Step nine. Wake in the morning and run downstairs. Splash dye onto your dressing gown. Remember it's your husband's really and decide it doesn't matter. He will think of you affectionately when he sees the stain.

Step ten. Hope the curtains look better once they're dry.

Step eleven. Hang them to dry on te line and keep thinking they look a bit s**t. When your husband says they still look s**t tell him it's how you intended them to look and he has no style anyway.

Step twelve. Hang the curtains in your bedroom and keep pretending they turned out exactly as you wanted. Wonder where it went wrong. Re-read the packet. Have a moment of realisation when you see the phrase "colour mixing". Sigh.

There you have it - in twelve simple steps you too can have some wonderful curtains like mine!