Feminism? Am I doing it wrong?

Apparently I'm meant to call myself a feminist - I was raised by them and am surrounded by them after all. I just read Caitlin Moran's book, and she tells me I ought to shout out loud that I'm a feminist (or I fail as a woman, or something). 


When my husband and I first met he and his friends affectionately called me and mine 'The Feminazis' (bless 'em). 


Emer O'Toole claims I'm a bad feminist for shaving my body hair off - but my husband must be a bad feminist too, because he does the same. Feminist or not, I think her blog has a terrible name - "The Vagenda". Ick. It makes ME dislike feminists, and I'm meant to BE one! (Sorry Emer - I don't dislike you, I've never met you so I haven't had chance to decide!)


Germaine Greer suggested in The Female Eunuch that we might all think about tasting our own menstrual blood just, you know, so we could be all hardcore, or something.Chella Quint has made a career about being funny about periods.Even I posted about sanitary care recently - but I'm certainly not going to be licking it off anything!


There are some things, though, that still really bug me about people's attitude towards feminism, or their lack of attitude towards it, and occasionally of their patronising attitude about men. Silly little men, all boob and beer obsessed, with their idiocy and football shirts. Silly little men.


Apparently, having been away for a couple of weekends in a row, I ought to be 'grateful' that my husband has taken care of the children on his own, and done housework in my absence. 


Now, here's the thing; I'm grateful - grateful that I got home to a nice clean house, clean happy children, some food, it's nice to have things done and see the children happy. Of course I'm grateful - it would be horribly rude of me not to be grateful! 


The thing that bothers me is that I'm apparently meant to be EXTRA grateful because my husband, who is, after all, only a man, is capable of childcare and house work. 


Why should I be extra grateful? We are both the children's parents, we are both living in this house, we are partners, we both care for our children, we both care for our home (to a certain extent!) we both do laundry, dishes, nappy changes, getting up in the night, drilling holes, mowing lawns, hanging curtain rails, changing fuses - there are jobs. 


There are not girl's work jobs, there are not boy's work jobs - there are just jobs that need to be done, and whichever of us has most time does those jobs.


He is an excellent father, an excellent husband. I rant at times that he hasn't done housework that needed to be done - but it isn't because he's a man that it didn't get done, it isn't because he expected me, as his little woman, to do it - it's because he's easily distracted and ignores housework for more fun things - and do you know what? I do too! 


So of course I was grateful - but not in an extra, super grateful kind of way because my useless old husband managed some childcare - of his OWN CHILDREN - or because he bunged some laundry in the machine. He's just as capable of that as I am! 


Bloody feminism - treat men with some respect too ladies!