Thursday, 19 January 2012

Ok, I miss them.

Before I got a full time job I had got pretty depressed, and was struggling with being a full time Mummy. 

I love my babies, and I love being with them - but I missed grown ups, and being around grown ups without children, and using my brain in the ways I'd used to. I missed work and I missed money. I missed feeling like I contributed to supporting us and I missed treating my husband to things.

I definitely wanted a job - and the job I found couldn't be more perfect - I love it.

But I really miss my babies.

Full time work, when they're this little, is really hard. Harder than I expected. I don't want to quit - not at all - the benefits of it are so worthwhile, and the boys are enjoying their new routine and excited about their day - and we all love the weekends, which we live for and try to make sure we do something fun with each week.

But there's a lot of time at the weekends that we have to spend doing the dull, houseworky things that build up through the week with us all being out of the flat for so long each day, and being so tired by the evenings! That gets in the way of the time I want to be playing with the boys.

In the morning we have an hour together, in which we're all getting ready and we're feeding the kids, so it passes in a blink and before I feel like I'm awake we're heading out the door and getting in the car. I drop the boys off at the childminder's house and we sing along to their CDs and play I-Spy all the way.

Then I drive to work, put my make up on in the car park and do a full day - at lunch time I message or speak to the childminder to see how they're doing. Daddytwo picks them up at around 5/5.30 and I leave work just after 5 - they get home a little before me and start playing whilst Daddytwo prepares dinner for everyone and I get home, play with them, eat (we all eat together) then we bath the boys and read them stories and settle them down. By seven/seven thirty they're more than ready for bed - and I've been home about an hour and a half by the time they're falling asleep - which means that in total I see the boys for less than three hours of their day.

I miss them.

I struggled being home with them all day, every day - and now I miss seeing them all day, every day. 

I don't want to go back to being a full time Mummy, but I don't want to miss so much of my time with them. 

Living for the weekends is working for now - and my contract at work ends in August, meaning that I have until then to find a way to work less hours in whatever job comes next so that I can see them more but still get the work and brain activity that I love so much. 

How do you do it? What experiences do you have of finding a work/Mummy balance? Comment or add a link to your blog sharing your experience. This is tougher than I thought - but I don't think I'm alone! 

Monday, 16 January 2012

Potty training update

Last year, for Cybermummy, I was lucky enough to be sponsored by Eric. That isn't a person, that's a mecca for those of us attempting potty training our children. Check it out! They have all kinds of tips and trinkets to make this whole potty training journey less of a nightmare to walk.

They prepare you for knowing when your child feels ready to potty train. They give tips on how to approach the sticky moments, how to praise and encourage, and how to keep going when you have a day in which your child splots out a massive turd on the carpet and drives his toy tractor through it before wiping his butt on the sofa throw.

Yep. That's what you just read.

Rather than resigning myself to popping to high school to change my teenager's nappy in a few years time we just cleaned the carpet, stuck the throw in the washing machine and stuck on a fresh pair of pull ups. Then asked A MILLION TIMES if he needed a wee. 

Now the childminder is actively potty training, we have a sticker chart and I'm ordering this book from Eric's website. Mainly because I like the picture on the cover.