Resolutions?

The obvious candidates for listing here are always in my mind, not just for new year, the eat less, booze less, move more, go outside more kinds of resolutions. I make those most weekends, and somehow remain a little overweight and slightly hungover of a Sunday. (And Saturday. And Monday. And occasionally Thursday. Or just days with a y in.)

So I won't bore you with those. I'll only break them, like we all do, and quietly berate myself and pretend there's all the time in the world to get thin and magically earn myself a six pack.

Instead what I have decided to attempt is being a better person. Bear (bare?) with me. 

I am irritable. I am short tempered. I am tired, grouchy, weary, I snap, I bark, I snarl. I am, generally, not that much fun to be around. Not CONSTANTLY, but way too often compared to the times that I'm, you know, nice. 

I try to make up for it by cleaning the floors, reading stories, baking nice things, but I still lose my rag more than a normal human should, and it isn't fair. 

So my resolution is to pause. I will stop myself, take a deep breath, possibly six or seven. I will close my eyes for a second and hold in whatever I was about to say, and I will take those few seconds to think "is this worth it".

Is it worth saying something snappy, and hurting someone's feelings, just to vent my own irritation? Is it worth falling out or argueing over something petty? Is it worth that moment of temper, for the longer moments of not being friends immediately after? 

Nope.
Not worth it. 

If something is bothering me, snapping about it isn't a good way to get a better result - and this is something I try to teach the children: tantrums do not get us nice things. I need to remember that too! 

Instead I try to teach them to stay calm, not shout, use whole sentences and ask nicely. How can I expect them to do that if I don't set them the right example, though? 

So rather than shouting about mess all over the kitchen floor I should take my moment, then ask someone to help me by cleaning up their mess, or to please go somewhere else so that I can do it. 

I shouldn't snarl, or bark, or shout. I should TAKE A MOMENT, and stay calm, that way things get done more quickly, everyone does those things together, and we all have a better day.

That is my resolution. Just be a nicer person. Learn from the lessons I try to teach the boys. Be calmer. 

Let's see how well I do!